


Too awkward for a Youtube romance

by Kyxa



Category: Youtube RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Love, Mark Fischbach/Reader - Freeform, Mark fishbach - Freeform, Mark/reader - Freeform, RPF, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, YouTube, markiplier/you - Freeform, markiplierxreader - Freeform, reader - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyxa/pseuds/Kyxa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a young, socially awkward girl who works with your mom who somehow got lucky enough to meet your favorite youtuber. Now all you have to do is say hello.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is both my first attempt a a fanfic AND my first attempt at a reader-insert fanfic. I know it's a little slow going but please bear with me.  
> I don't know how many chapters it will be or where it will go but I will be trying to post one chapter a day. Thank you for reading!
> 
> [Y/N] is "your name"

You sit as your desk entering information into your laptop. You are young 20 year old who works as a simple file clerk at a branch of a flip and rental company your mom runs. Your desk is one of four in the front room of the office, right near two couches and the front door. Your mom and one of your co-worker's offices are set in two separate rooms. on the opposite side of your desk.

The clock on your computer reads "Friday, 3:00" and you sigh. Only another hour of entering payment info into documents before you and your mother go home. You stretch out your back hearing the door ring over the sound of the youtube video you are watching coming from your headphones. Your head whips to the hallway hoping that Jesse, the only co-worker besides your mom that is in the office, will get up. You hear no indication of this and sigh. You HATED the awkwardness of answering the door.

"[Y/N], can you grab that please?" you hear your mom call from her office. You stand and walk to the door, a muffled talking coming from outside. opening the door you only see one man with short black hair with a matching mustache and the startings of a beard standing there, his face seemingly familiar but you shrug it off and force out your rehearsed greeting.

"Uh hi, h-how can I um help y-you?" Your thoughts immediately scolding you for fucking up such a simple sentence but the man smiles despite your vocal blunders.

"I am here for Jesse? Is he in?" His eyes go past you scanning the office and you nod.

"Uh yeah he is I will go get him, um you can come in and sit if you want" You leave the door open and fast walk to Jesse's office letting him know of the man at the door, Jesse being on the phone and just nodding. From the main room you hear two voices, one sounding so familiar you're almost positive you know who it is, but you shake off the feeling as it would be impossible for it to be him. You walk to the front room and you feel like your heart stopped when you see the second man standing there, your previous suspicion confirmed. Their eyes lift to you and you search for your voice, it finally coming back to you after clearing your throat.

"He i-is on the phone at t-the moment so uh just give him a moment" You say quickly, lowering your head and fast walking to your desk, hearing Jesse get up from his squeaky chair behind you. focusing on your computer you but glancing up as you hear hear him come out and greet them.

"Tom, it's nice to see you, I assume this is your brother Mark?" he shakes Tom's hand first then looks to mark, his eyes obviously glance to the large strip of blue at the top of Mark's head, shaking his hand.

The group of guys start talking about houses, you keep glancing up at them, then back to your computer screen, your inner fangirl screaming as there is no doubt one of the guys in front of your desk is your Youtube idol and crush… Markiplier.

You try not to listen to their conversation, putting both your headphones in and continuing the ridiculous remix made for Markiplier, going over and over a way to get to say hi to him without being too awkward. Maybe even get a selfie? 'No I can't ask him here, he is doing private things!' you yell at yourself in your head. You refused to be the typical fangirl who doesn't care what he's doing and continuously bothers him. Maybe you will just wait till he's leaving to tell him you're a fan and like his videos.

Your inner contemplation is interrupted by jesse tapping on your computer to get your attention. You take an earbud out and look up at him when he points to your mom standing in the hallway.

"[Y/N]" She says obviously it not being her first time calling you then giving you a "let's head out back" nod. You jump up jittery again when you realize THE Markiplier is looking at you.

"ohhh, wow, ooooh wow, ooooh wow"  
Markiplier's voice rings from your laptop speakers and your face flushes a bright red, any fan will know it's audio from the "I am bread hot sauce challenge" but to other's ears it sounded like something else entirely. You slam the MUTE button, turning the sound of but already too late. You don't need to glance at the men standing there to know that you are being stared at so you just keep your head down, staring at the ground and rushing outside with your mom.

"MOM I AM GOING TO CRY I SWEAR" You squeak as the door shuts behind both of you, your mom lighting a cigarette and shaking her head.

"Nothing to get too worked up over sweetheart, happens to the best of us" She rubs your back, knowing how worked up you get about small things "though you really shouldn't be watching those types of videos at work…"

"NO, MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I was listening to Markiplier!" You whine and she just raises an eyebrow confused. Letting out a sigh you spell it out for her "It was a Markiplier VIDEO, It just happened to sound like… And the guy in there IS MARKIPLIER! That is SOOOO embarrassing! I am never going to be able to say hi to him now" You were about to whine when the door opens, you jump up but realize it's just Jesse, on the phone again with his keys in hand.

"Hey sorry, I gotta go run to a house" He says to mom as he fumbles with his keys.

"Wait, are they gone?" You ask halfway sad but also relieved. He nods mentioning they are going to return monday to finish their business. You head back inside, knowing the coast is now clear now. You plop down with a heavy sigh as you are about to open your laptop when you notice a little note

"Hey, noticed you were a fan, sorry HAD to see what you were watching, sad I didn't get to talk to you, you should say hi next time

P.S. Love the #SexyMark sticker on your laptop ;P

-Mark"

You squeal, your face red. You were DEFINITELY not coming to work on Monday.

Throughout the rest of the hour you found out that Tom was moving to Florida and Mark was here on vacation helping his brother find a house and move and that throughout this month they will be coming back to the office many times… Great.


	2. When I see you again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a brand new week, your embarrassing blunders are in the past, and you won't be forced to sit in awkward silence with your youtube crush. Until there's a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading and leaving Kudos! It really means a lot to me!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> [Y/N] is "your name"

Tuesday morning your mom and you got to the office fairly early. You had taken monday off as you planned and were relieved to know that you wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of the previous friday. You settle down in your chair and open your laptop, following your normal morning routine, opening the tabs for youtube, tumblr, facebook, and google docs for actually working. As is tradition you click the “subscriptions” button on Youtube and look for what new videos are up. As you scroll through the list you stop. Markiplier uploaded a new “reading your comments” video. You slide your headphones in and start the video immediately. you notice the odd new background, guessing that means he is in Florida and it’s not a prerecorded video.

“Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and as most of you know I am on Vacation.” You huff thinking ‘well NOW I do’ and continue watching the video. It goes on, him answering random comments. Near the end he pulls up a question that’s answer makes your face go red, knowing he hand picked these comments.

The comment went “Hey Markimoo, how do you feel about people approaching you when you are out in public NOT during a meet up or anything like that?” Mark smiled at the camera, causing you to swoon slightly.

“Honestly I love meeting my fans anywhere, even if they happen to unplug their headphones while watching a video of mine at the exact moment that it sounded like something else, if ya get what I am saying” he chuckles and gives a little wave, as if to say hi to the one he was talking about.

You burry your face as he says his signature “buh bye”. You can’t believe he talked about you in the video, he doesn’t even know your name! As soon as you sit up and regain composure a knock rang at the door.

You rose quickly, knowing you and your mom are the only ones at the office this early. Your face still red. You slowly open the door seeing a familiar red flannel shirt at your eye line. 

“Well hello again” Markiplier smiles down at you, his brother standing behind him shaking his head. You step back, your face redder than before. 

“Jesse isn’t here yet….” You say in a quiet voice. Mark walking in, followed by his brother.

“He was just texting us, he said he’d be here soon” He continues to smile at you “We’re just going to wait” You nod hurriedly closing the door and sitting down at your desk. ‘Oh god, he keeps giving me that smile, I can’t even think of anything to say!’ You think, focusing your attention to your work screen. 

After some time of awkward silence and Jesse not showing up Mark stands in front of your desk, again with that smile that made your heart stop.  
“So... I never got your name” He looks at you expectantly and you let out a small squeak “[Y/N]” He reaches his hand out to prompt you to shake it but as you reach out as well you knock the stack of papers on the edge of your desk off. 

You curse to yourself and kneel down to pick them up, Mark kneeling down as well helping. “Sorry about that haha” He says as he hands you a small stack that you take and shake your head. 

“n-no it’s my fault, I am really clumsy, this happens A LOT” You let out a small laugh thinking about all the things you have caused due to your clumsiness. As you grab the last of the papers you notice Mark had stopped grabbing them, a stack in his hand. You glance up at him noticing he’s staring with a grin on his face.

“um… Mark?” You ask, feeling weird about calling him his name when he hasn’t actually told you it. When he hears his name he snaps out of the daze he is in and shakes his head.

“Sorry, I got, uh, distracted” He looks at the papers in his hand and sets them on your stack. You standing and putting them back on the edge of your desk. Mark and you stand there awkwardly in silence for a minute before Tom clears his throat behind you.

“Oh um w-would either of you like some water? we have um some bottled…” You glance to Tom, him nodding, then to Mark and he nods as well “uh sure I could use some water” he walks back to the couch as you grab the bottles from the fridge. You silently walk back to your desk, Jesse coming through the back door at the same moment.

A sigh of relief leaves your lips as you hope that this might ease the awkwardness of the room. Almost immediately Jesse starts up a conversation with Tom, Mark sitting quietly on the couch. After a while Mark rises and walks next to you, leaning on your desk.

“So what do you do here?” You look up at him and your cheeks go bright red as you look up at him, the window behind him making him have a slight glow, his red flannel shirt’s sleeves tight against his arms showing his muscles, red also being your favorite color. After staring for what felt like five minutes you blink and look back at your computer.

“O-oh I um kinda just do data entry, y-ya know, put everything we pay for into a spreadsheet.. N-nothing too important or complicated” You stare at your screen feeling him lean in closer, almost touching you.

“hmm seems complicated… Hey you watched my video!” he points to the tab that had the title of his latest video at the top. ‘Damn you chrome’ you cursed in your head. 

“Uh y-yeah… I watch all of your videos” You squeak out as he lets out a giddy laugh, pulling away from your screen.

“I wasn’t sure at first, when I walked in you showed no signs of being a fan but after hearing you listening to one of my videos I knew you were!”   
He smiles triumphantly, the smile being contagious you start smiling.

“hehe yeah, I uh didn’t want to be one of those fangirls who like attack you while you are out doing private things so…” You look away embarrassed at the look he was giving you. Your mom walks out and calls you to her office, Jesse seeming to be finishing up as you answer her call. By the time you go back out to the main room you see they had left, a frown coming to your face since you were unable to say goodbye to Mark. Though the fact that you got to talk to him filled you with happiness. You were tempted to post about it on all of your social media websites but you thought better of it, thinking it best if you just keep this whole encounter to yourself.

You were made happier when you saw another note from the blue haired youtuber.

“XXX-XXX-XXXX You should text me sometime  
-Mark”


	3. Just a Text away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark left you his number but it couldn't be... could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone again for reading!
> 
> As always [Y/N] is "Your name"

You stare up at your phone while laying against a stack of pillows on your bed. The number is dialed in to text and your finger hovers over the keyboard. Your mind is racing, what should you text? Will he respond? Is it too late to text him? Is it even his real number? Why would a famous Youtuber give you his number?

“It’s probably a prank” you say, locking your phone and letting your hand fall onto your stomach. There was NO WAY a famous Youtuber gave you his personal cell number. No way…. You raise the phone again, your background being a really cute picture of Markiplier that your friend, Delilah, who lived in england drew. The picture featured mark with his pink hair. His hair now was blue but the picture was adorable. As you stared at it your face grew hot.

“Maybe I will just… Check” You pull up the text box and quickly type a text message.  
Me (6:09 PM): Hi, it’s [Y/N]...  
You squeak as you lock your phone and shove it under your pillow. Now you wait. You try to not get your hopes up but when you hear your ringtone you sit up quickly and grab your phone.  
Mark? (6:13 PM): Who? You must have the wrong number.  
Your face falls and your heart aches. It WAS a prank…  
Not mark (6:14 PM): Wait, [Y/N] from the rental office?  
Your eyes widen and you text back quickly  
Me (6:15 PM): Yep. this number was left by Mark?  
MARK? (6:17 PM): OH WOW Mark gave you MY number instead of his own? Hold on, I will give him the phone.  
You tilt your head in confusion then it dawned on you. He gave you his brother, Tom’s, phone number. You can’t help but giggle a little and shake your head.   
Mark (6:20 PM): Hi there, sorry about that can’t be too careful haha  
Me (6:21 PM): Haha ah yes, best to give away your brother’s number to a random fangirl than your own?  
Mark (6:24 PM): Exactly! I mean why Jeopardize MY privacy when I can jeopardize my brother’s? :P hah not that you aren’t already unofficially sworn to secrecy.  
Me (6:25 PM): True, tho I am surprised you don’t make all of us sign a contract to keep us quiet mr. “super famous Youtuber”   
Mark (6:30 PM): That is a good idea! Cause ya I am SO FAMOUS I can’t even go to Mcdonalds without getting my used napkins stolen!  
Me (6:31 PM): PFT I think that’s probably just the janitors doing their jobs XP  
You felt more relaxed as you texted. It was easier to talk to your crush when you didn’t see his big stupid adorable face. You both go back and forth for the next couple hours before your eyes get heavy. You hear one more text come in but by the time you reach for your phone your eyes are glued shut. You slip the phone under your pillow, the safest place on your bed, and pass out thinking you will reply tomorrow.

You awake abruptly to the sound of your mom calling your name, waking you for work. You yawn and stretch before your shoots under your pillow for your phone noticing the alarm didn’t go off.

Dead. You curse yourself for not charging it last night. You stand and get ready, slipping into your work clothes for the day. It was fairly warm, as it is most days in Florida, so you decide to wear the low cut red shirt with dark blue jeans. You LOVED red, it was your favorite color and you just happened to look adorable in it. You weren’t very confident but you knew what made you look good and what didn’t.

Your eyes stare intently at the phone as it charges. The drive from your house to the office takes about thirty minutes and if you don’t give your phone the full thirty it will decide to spaz. You were really due for a new one soon but that could wait. You just really wanted to know what mark sent last night. Mark. It was weird to even think the name. To you it had always been Markiplier, you never knew him enough to call him by his name, but you are now talking to him. You smile wide at that thought. Could you be considered friends? Too amazing!

The sight of the office rips you from your thoughts and you unplug your phone from the car charger and rush inside, setting up. Youtube, Tumblr, Facebook, Gmail, Google Docs, then turn on your phone, it going off two minutes after booting.

Mark (10:27 PM): Haha so how would you feel about getting drinks? Drinks as in the coffee kind  
You squeak and reply fast, hoping it’s not too early for him  
Me (9:35 AM): Ah! Sorry! GM! I totally passed out. I would LOVE to! Whenever you’re free let me know!  
You jump in your seat a little as you think about getting drinks with him. Your mind immediately starts jumping through ideal dates and romantic outcomes causing you to shake your head ‘it’s just drinks, we are only friends, calm down’ you tell yourself.  
You set your phone down after making sure it sent. You focused on your work for the rest of the day, watching Markiplier’s obviously pre-recorded new video, checking your phone but not getting a new text.

It was almost four and you hadn’t gotten a reply. You sigh loudly, rewatching his latest video. Suddenly your phone chimes.  
Mark (3:48 PM): How about now? You free?  
You jump excitedly but then sigh again, knowing you have no cash for an Uber. You couldn’t drive and had NO interest in it but at moments like this you cursed that.  
Me (3:50 PM): I am but I can’t really go anywhere. No money for a ride or drink :/  
You sent the text and started packing up, knowing your mom would be coming to tell you to do so soon. You head out the back door, eyes fixed on your phone waiting for a response. As you step out you bump into something, the force causing you to lose your balance, toss your phone aside on accident, and fall against the object in front of you, the object not holding firm and falling back into the grass. You squeak loudly as you fall, gripping your laptop tightly.

“Ow! I think you broke my butt” A deep voice comes from the “object” in front of you that had caused you to trip and you grow still. You realize you are literally sitting in Markiplier’s lap and that you just pushed him down a small step. Your face flushes red as you realize you are probably crushing his legs so you go to stand up but the cord of your laptop is wrapped around your foot and you fall down right on top of Mark who lets out a pained groan.

“I AM SO SORRY OMIGOSH I AM SO SORRY!” You continue to repeat loudly, making sure to set the laptop aside along with the cords and anything you could trip on. You move quickly, extremely flustered when you hear a throaty laugh and look up, Mark has his head thrown back and is laughing.

“Oh man, it’s okay” He smiles at you and starts standing, you scrambling off his lap quickly grabbing your laptop and stand up with him, panting slightly as your heart threatened to leave your chest. 

“So drinks?” He chuckles off the embarrassing incident, though his face was a little flustered, and points over his shoulder to his car. You smile and nod, you start calming down and becoming calm. ‘it’s just drinks, we are only friends, calm down’ you recite in your head again. You quickly put your laptop in your mom’s car, telling her you are going for drinks, reiterating NOT alcoholic drinks, and head to his car. 

Exiting the office door your heart almost stops as you see him leaning against the driver’s door, his shirt outlining his muscles very clearly. The sun shining behind making it seem like he is glowing. You continue to the car.

‘Just friends, that’s all we are and all we’ll ever be’ You keep reciting over and over as you get in the car ‘sadly’.


	4. A date... Yet not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark takes you to coffee, are those sparks of romance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one took a little longer to write and is a little shorter than the last chapter but here it is! 
> 
> I don't think I even used it in this chapter but [Y/N] is "Your Name"

You sit in the passenger seat of Mark’s car, some music playing quietly from the radio. You wonder if he turned it down for you or if he just listens to his music low but you get distracted from the thought as your eyes scan the interior, resisting the urge to press the many buttons on the dash. Mark starts pulling out then glances at you.

“I had the same look on my face when I first got in, sadly most the buttons don’t do anything cool, EXCEPT this one!” He says pushing a button. You wait for something to happen and don’t notice anything till your butt and back start getting warm. You smile wide and look at him, a goofy smile on his lips. ‘God his smile is gorgeous’ You catch yourself thinking and blush.

“My brother has these in his car! I love seat warmers!” You giggle shuffling against the seat, it was cold enough outside for them to be useful.

“Me too! I just love warm buns” He says the last part through a laugh causing you to smile at him while biting your lip. On the ride you decide to go to starbucks, cause despite you never wanting to come off as a “basic white girl” you just can’t help your love of Starbucks. Idle chatter fills the car until you pull up to the coffee shop. 

You both get drinks, yours a nice warm mint chocolate latte, and him a double shot espresso, and sit down.

“So you probably know a lot about me but I know nothing about you” Mark smiles. You blush as you sip at your latte.

“I-i don’t really… Um I am kinda just a normal girl, I like anime, video games, duh, I like to draw but I don’t really think I am that good at it…” You pause thinking of more things to talk about. “Yep, that’s pretty just me…”

Mark chuckles and nods “interesting, interesting hmm… What games do you like to play? Are you more of a rpg gal, maybe first person shooter? Or are you into Horror?” He rests his head on his hands watching you intently. You smile and shake your head.

“Definitely not horror, my heart races just watching you play those games, when I play them, especially alone, I make myself sick" you blush at admitting this but continue “I really like rpgs, and to be honest anything I can be a girl in or customize my character in. Though I don't turn down fps’ cause they are great" you continue to ramble about videos games without realizing it, mark staring at you, a small smirk on his face. The look makes your face go red and you look away.   
“Sorry I was rambling haha" he chuckles at you and you feel more embarrassed. 

“It's really nothing to be ashamed of, hell video games are my life so…” a squeal of excitement comes from a group of girls that just walked into the Starbucks. They all rush to mark spouting “omg it's markiplier! I can't believe it!” You stand as the crowd pushes against your chair and you get pushed back. 

Mark smiles and takes pictures, signs things, and gives hugs happily though when he looks at you he flashes a “sorry about this” on his face. After most the girls are done you are able to sit back down, huffing at the rudeness but knowing that had you just seen him out you probably would have done the same made you calm down. You sit there smiling at him, his dedication to his fans admirable even if it made you slightly jealous. As you sit, waiting for the rest of the girls to clear out you notice someone’s flash shines directly at you. You flinch at the light then look to see where it came from, not being able to pinpoint it you shrug and continue to wait.

“Sorry about that, sometimes I forget how outrageously famous I am” He says boasting and you roll your eyes laughing.

“That’s hard to believe seeing as your ego is bigger than your reputation” You retort then giggle at his fake pouty face, you sticking your tongue out at him jokingly. 

“I’ll have you know…” He motions wide with his hands, knocking your now empty cup to the floor. He whispers “shit” and jumps up seconds after you and reaches for the cup, both of you grabbing it, your hands touching. You quickly slip the cup from his hand, Mark gives you an odd look that you can’t find the meaning of and your face blushing. 

“I-i got this, it’s okay” You say fast and walk to the trashcan ‘What is this a Fanfiction?? I can’t believe that just happened’ You toss the cup and hear your phone vibrate, pulling it out makes you realize the time. “Oh man, it’s almost six!” You look up to mark who is also throwing his cup away, he motions for you to leave and you nod, slipping your phone back into your pocket, it wasn’t your mom so you don’t care who messaged you.

It is a fairly long ride to your house, most of it you were sitting in a comfortable silence, your phone going off like crazy. You figure must be the groups you are in on facebook and silence it. Mark and you are laughing as you pull up to your house. You slip from the seat and stretch yawning and see Mark get out, you giving him a confused look.

“Can’t leave without getting a hug right?” He says opening his arms as he walks to your side of the car. Your heart beats fast and you wrap your arms around him, he squeezes you tightly and you let out a small squeak and laugh. You squeeze back trying to match his strength, inhaling a intoxicating breath of whatever he was wearing. You couldn’t tell if it was body wash, cologne or what, but you did know he smelt amazing. 

“It was nice hanging out with you! I hope we can do this again” He says pulling back, looking down at you smiling. He was pretty tall compared to your measly 5” but if you really wanted to you could probably kiss him.

“I would like that! Though maybe somewhere where you won’t get mobbed by fans preferably” You giggle and he gives a “will do” and heads to his car. You wave and enter your house.

Spending a few hours gushing about the “date but not a date” to your mom you grew tired and after finishing your story you slunk to your room and plopped onto your bed. You slip your phone from your pocket and see you got tons of different messages from your friends and people you didn’t know. Texts from friends, tags on instagram, facebook, Tumblr, etc. 

“What the heck??” You unlock your phone and look at the first couple messages.

“Did you meet Markiplier????”  
“Who are you? How do you know Markiplier??”  
“You’re too ugly for Mark!”

Your face twists from confusion to hurt. Why were you getting messages like this? When you click on a picture you’re tagged in, A picture of you sitting across Mark, your face obviously that of someone looking at their crush, it clicks in your mind. Someone had taken a picture of you while you were out with Mark and had posted it asking who you were. It seemed some of your friends saw this and tagged you asking if it was you.

“Oh crap, this isn’t good” You faceplant into a pillow.


	5. Hell hath no fury like a youtuber's fanbase.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're bombarded with hate and it's really getting to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here were are FINALLY, after loss of motivation, some life troubles, and losing this chapter after it was ALMOST finished I finally got around to rewriting this. I really want to thank everyone who has left Kudos, seeing the notifications in my email is really what pushed me to continue to write. I just hope I don't disappoint anyone seeing as I haven't written in... MONTHS. 
> 
> Special thanks to Surra for commenting. It was thanks to your comment that I wrote the first one (Before it died with my laptop ;_;) so seriously, thank you!!
> 
> Well, as always (Y/N) is your name! Enjoy!

Throughout the night your phone went off like crazy, your aggravation growing and causing you to become upset. You refused to mute your phone in case Mark messaged you but with every ding you grew sadder. Despite knowing you shouldn’t look at the comments and messages you did. Some were just simple inquiries, but most being hateful comments.

By the time your alarm had gone off you had only a few hours of sleep at best, your eyes red from exhaustion and the tears that you couldn’t hold back for long. As you forced yourself from the bed you forcefully grab your phone, shutting off the horrid sound of the alarm and checking your messages again. No messages from Mark and too many messages from unknown people. You swore the words didn’t hurt you anymore but you couldn’t lie to yourself. While half of your mind tried rationalizing the reasons behind Mark’s silence, the other half told you that he decided to listen to his fans and that you were too ugly, too dull, too stupid for him to waste his time on you, and that side was winning.

“(Y/N)! we’re leaving in a few minutes, are you ready?” You heard your mom call and you start panicking, grabbing whatever clothing seemed to be the cleanest on your floor and grabbing all your stuff and calling back to your mother.

“Yeah! Almost ready!” your voice cracked reminding you of the damage suppressing your sobs did on your throat. When you exit the room your mom notes your ragged, exhausted appearance, you blaming it on being sick “Or something”. The ride into work is quiet, your eyes kept trained on your phone, pleading with it to give you a message from Mark to no avail. Your mom obviously notices something wrong but knew if she were to ask you would just give a halfhearted smile and say it’s all okay so she tries to start up a conversation to gauge what was upsetting you.

“So how is your new boyfriend?” Her eyes glance at you quickly and you try to hide the sadness on your face.

“well, first he ISN’T my boyfriend mom! And he’s good, probably busy… I wonder if he’s at the office…” You mumble the last sentence, speaking it more to yourself than your mom. Noticing you weren’t in a talking mood she keeps quiet, focusing on the road, getting to the office not long after.

Slipping from the car you grab your laptop and other necessary work items, the charger falling from your hands. Letting out a frustrated sigh you reach down trying to grab it with your full hands, more things slipping as you grab it. Frustrated, tears fill your eyes, pushing you to angrily grab at the other items.

“Need some help there?” a voice from behind you grabs your attention, causing you to turn without picking up the last bit of your stuff. Despite trying to wipe your face the tears were still rolling as you faced a concerned looking Markiplier. Seeing him makes you cry harder, turning stubbornly away from him, attempting to grab your stuff.

“NO I got it….” You continue to fail miserably at grabbing everything while he watches in silent concern, sighing loudly and grabbing the things that you couldn’t fit in your arms. You walk silently to the office door, that your mom left ajar for you, tears still falling down your cheeks. As he follows you in he finally breaks the silence.

“Uh… Are you okay?” you remain silent and he continues talking “I know I should have texted after the coffee but I was editing some videos and I kinda ended up not being done until really late and by that time I figured you would be asleep and…” He continued to babble, apologizing for the things that _MIGHT_ be upsetting you. Once you reach your desk, your eyes dry now finally you interrupt his babbling.

“Mark I’m sorry, it’s not… any of those reasons. I really didn’t mean to make you feel like it’s your fault…” As you talk you hear a knock at the door, a tenant no doubt, so you start walking back out to continue explaining. Reaching outside again you slip the door closed and take a deep breath, feeling like a child for crying in the middle of work.  
“Anyway… What I was saying was, it’s not your fault. I am just dumb and cry sometimes…” You mumble, hearing the Gmail chat sound ring from your phone, the only application you hadn’t muted after waking up. As you take it out of your pocket the notifications of the other apps still pop up, making your phone vibrate and a look of sadness crossing your face since you had been trying not to read them.

“Damn them cyber bullies right” Mark jokes before the look on your face shows him that he hit the nail on the head. “Oh I’m so sorry, that was a stupid joke, is there anything I can do to help?” You write your reply to the chat, which was from your mom and slip your phone back in your pocket, shaking your head at him, putting on a fake smile.

“Nah, I am good. It would probably make it worse anyways… shit!” You cover your mouth as he is now giving you the most adorable concerned and curious look, showing that, as you suspected, he hadn’t seen all the hate you were receiving. His face shows he is waiting for more information and you sigh, sitting on the small step. He follows you, watching you intently.  
“Yesterday… when we were at Starbucks and that group of fans mobbed us… I guess someone took a picture of us and my friends tagged me in it and then I started getting bombarded with thousands of comments and messages and my phone won’t stop going off and most of them are saying I don’t deserve to be near you and that I am too ugly, untalented, and stupid to be hanging out with you and of course I believe them cause I am just another plain, boring, untalented girl out of thousands and I know you are going to completely forget me once you go back to LA and…” Your spoke fast, spilling all your feelings that you kept pent up, your eyes glued to the concrete not wanting to see the look on Mark’s face, watching tear drops splash on the sidewalk.  
“haha there I go crying again, told ya I tend to do that.” You force a chuckle and wipe your eyes. Mark sits there silent, unsure of what to say to your words. Before he can respond his brother walks out of the office, telling him that he is done and they can go. Tom heads to their car and Mark rises to follow.

“(Y/N)… Listen, while it’s true I can’t remember every fan… You are MORE than just a fan, you’re…” He trails off for a second “Well I definitely won’t forget you.” He looks at Tom who is obviously getting impatient. “I have more to say but I don’t want to leave Tom waiting so just wait till a little later okay?” He gives a caring gentle smile as his hand pats your shoulder and then he was gone.

Watching them drive away your face is red, the tears now gone. With your mind now calmed by his words, at least a little, you head back inside and actually start working, thinking how lucky you are that your mom was your boss so you didn’t have to worry about getting fired for not working. The rest of the day flew by as you sat, mindlessly working, focusing more on Markiplier’s newest videos, your face flushed every time he smiled. You didn’t bother to open anything but Youtube today, not caring what anyone had to say any more. Mark’s words resounding in your head, making you feel exponentially better. ‘More than a fan you’re…’ What was he going to say you wonder. You knew he wasn’t going to say what you WISHED he would say, he’s only known you a small amount of time but that didn’t stop you from daydreaming. Only snapping to reality when you were home, lying in bed.

Slipping your hand into your pocket you pull out your phone, noticing it hasn’t vibrated all that much for the past hour. Clearing out your notifications one by one you notice you got a text from Mark.

Mark (4:07): Hey! Sorry I had to leave before I could cheer you up L

With a small smile you return his text.

Me (5:10): SORRY! I didn’t see this earlier, really it’s fine! You did make me feel better!

As you wait for his reply you clear more notifications, seeing he posted a new video earlier. You open your Youtube app, scrolling through your subscriptions searching for his video, excited for what game it might be, hoping it was another Fran bow episode. When you see it you cover your face in embarrassment.

The cover photo is the photo of both you and him, the video titled “a little confession” Right as you go to click the video your phone gets a text

Mark (5:15): It’s cool! Oh so I may have done something dumb… Have you seen my new video yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, so when I started I didn't have any idea where I was going so I am gonna try to make there be more of a plot but not sure how that's going to go but we'll see! If anyone has any pointers or ideas they are welcome!


	6. The Video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not what you thought it was but that doesn't stop you from being happy about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this one is SUPER short but I wanted to start a chapter on a new day so I ended this one short. I will be trying to upload another one soon but since I am making it MUCH longer I don't know how long it will take.
> 
> As always [Y/N] is "your name" and thank you for reading!!

December air causes your fingers to shake.

Me (5:20): Not yet….? I see the icon… Should I be worried??

your eyes glued to the title of the video as it buffers, frozen fingers tapping impatiently against the computer. Your heart beating fast warming your chilled skin as you watch the little grey line slowly move to the end, the tink of your notifications pulling your attention away from the screen to the screen of your phone, the name “Mark” followed by his reply. You decide to watch the video before reading it, bracing for the worst, hoping for the best. 

“Hello everybody! My name’s Markiplier and I have to apologize, I did use a little bit of clickbait for this video but it’s kind of important.” The video is shot in a vlog format, the camera, or phone, shaking in his hand. His eyes scream exhaustion and the floof of his blue hair a disheveled mess. He goes on, showing the photo that started this whole mess, your face cringing at the sight of you OBVIOUSLY fawning over him.   
“This is [Y/N], a friend of mine but because of this picture she has been getting a lot of hate and that is just not cool!”

Your heart slows and you release a loud sigh, whether of relief or sadness you aren’t sure. You weren’t sure why you even got your hopes up in the first place. As your hand reaches out for your phone to read Marks reply something he said catches your ear.

“Now, this woman is sweet, nice and caring and doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s getting all because I am her friend. AND even if I was dating her…” he glances to the side, taking a short almost unnoticeable pause “OR anyone, I would HOPE my fans would be kind and caring instead of attacking her… them.” He continues to ramble the way he does, your lips curling slightly as a pink hue floods your cheeks, your cold hands covering your face as you contain a squeal. It was a small thing but the look on his face and the way he talked about you made your mind soar beyond earth, to fangirl land, Of course you knew it was probably nothing but your imagination wouldn’t let it go.   
The signature “Bye bye” snaps you back to reality as the video ends. You replay the specific part over and over, trying to decipher what emotion laid behind his eyes in that split second. The message from Mark sat unread until another notification popped in, finally making you drag your attention from the screen to your phone. 

Mark (5:27): Nah It’s nothing TOO bad, I just never normally address these things in videos but I got kinda… idek

Mark (5:44): You’re not upset at me for using your name or anything, are you?

Your fingers swiftly start typing your reply, misspelling a few words without noticing

Me (5:50): NONONO I am not, I was waching it Haha. catually… thank you, I have stopped receving a bunch of hate!

You place your phone next to you, wrapping your blanket around you, protecting you from the chill as it got later in the night. Feeling lonely you grab the panda stuffed animal from the floor, where it had fallen in the morning as you were getting ready for work. 

You lie there cuddled up staring into space, your mind wandering and jumping from one random topic to another when your face goes red. Mark had slipped into your mind, and with him came fantasies of kisses and dates. Embarrassed at your fangirl mind you hide your face in the stuffed toy, slowly falling asleep. Your phone chimes and despite how much you would like to, you can’t open your eyes long enough to even grab your phone so you let it be, passing out completely.


	7. a Not so awkward Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is here, a time for family, gifts, and kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The holidays killed me but I am BACK with a new chapter! So just a warning for future chapters, what I have planned will have bunch of skipped time and possibly some angst cause really what fanfiction can't use some of that?  
> Thank you to everyone who is leaving kudos, comments, and just viewing my work in general.  
> [Y/N] is "your name"

Dreams of cute dates, silent cuddles, and kisses fled your head as your eyes opened. Stifling a yawn, you grab your phone and notice it’s earlier than usual, the text from mark sitting unread. The sight warming your heart and bringing a sleepy smile to your lips. 

Mark (6:00): I’m glad, Oh hey so I am staying through xmas and was curious what you were doing? Have any plans? Well I mean like after the whole family spending time… Like at night lol.

Looking at the time again you decide not to reply just yet, He was probably still asleep. You slip from bed, the warmth of your blankets leaving you. You grab your jacket swiftly to escape the cold and silently walk out of your room, trying not to make any noise as you pass your mom’s room. You slip into the small living room; the light of the crowded Christmas tree the only thing illuminating your way. You spend some time playing games, writing down your story ideas, and drawing. Finally, as the clock hits 7am you decide to send a reply, hearing your mom getting up you fast walk to your room not wanting to be in her way as she gets ready.

Me (7:10): Hey sorry, passed out… again haha. Well after like noon the family disperses and becomes focused on their gifts so I have the rest of the day to do whatever. Why?  
Waiting for the reply you get ready for work, pulling on clothes that will be cool once it warms up later in the day. You check your phone, paranoid that maybe it was on silent or wasn’t ringing but neither of those were true, there was just no reply yet. You continue glancing at your phone every ten minutes for hours. It takes until about noon for you to finally get a response.

Mark (12:20): Heyo, sorry I was up late so I JUST woke up haha, well how would you like to go see that giant tree in Ybor at night? It sounds like it’s super cool so I figure why not go see it together?

The high-pitched squeak that comes from your mouth makes your mom pop her head out of her office.

“Are you ok? It sounded like you were being murdered!” 

You shake your head, your hands covering your mouth, your cheeks covered in blush.

“Y-yeah I am good BUT OMG MARKIPLIER JUST ASKED ME TO GO SEE THE TREE IN YBOR THIS CHRISTMAS I AM DYING MOM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND” You flail your arms and she gives a small clap.

“congrats. Go get your man!” She chuckles and walks back into her office, leaving you even more flustered than before. The sound of another text coming in draws your attention, it was Mark again, sending a “?”. You forgot you hadn’t replied and did so quickly.

Me (12:45): Yes!!! I would LOVE TO!! I have never been TBH X_X

You get back to work, taking a break to reply every now and then. Throughout the next few days you and Mark texted a lot but his busy schedule helping his brother didn’t allow much time to hang out. The days leading up to Christmas day were just as busy for you, decorating, last minute gifts, planning a dinner, and of course getting an outfit for Ybor with mark. No matter what you were doing, the thought of being with mark on Christmas night under a giant Christmas tree would redden your cheeks and make you lose focus, causing you to be scolded repeatedly.

Finally, as Christmas eve approached your familial duties stopped, your mom no longer calling you every ten minutes for another chore. The early evening arrived as you sat on the couch, relatives who had come from who-even-knows sit and play overwatch on your console. Instead of watching them you space off staring at the tree and the presents. The sound of more relatives ring in the background, your mother’s voice noticeable but you were too spaced out to hear what she was saying. A knock on the door grabs your attention, but not your interest knowing it’s probably another of your many relatives. You lazily pull open the door, spout your usual “Hi how are you” before noticing a familiar tuft of blue hair, your eyes widening for a second.

“Hi! I’m pretty great how about YOU?” he gives a crooked smile and chuckles. You take a second to come to reality and squeak out a reply.

“Wha- Oh! Hi! Um wow what are… Hah What are you doing here? Ah but i-im good! Uh just… come in?” You are obviously flustered as you leave the door wide open and walk away, mark chuckling and shaking his head as he follows. You lead him to the couch and you both sit down.

“Haha sorry, I guess I should have said I was coming but I wanted to surprise you” He gives you a guilty look as your mom passes and gives you and him a weird look.

“Ah nonono! It’s perfectly fine! You’re welcome here anytime! And to be honest, I’m glad you came, I was bored as he-” You cover your mouth, having children near by. “Heck”.  
You both laugh and continue talking, after asking your mom he stays for dinner, making it a little less awkward being around relatives that you barely know. Not long after dinner does the commotion calm down and relatives leave. Leaving mark as the only guest. As it nears midnight the family settles down on the couches with hot chocolate, Rudolf playing on the tv.

“Mom!” You gasp obviously scaring her a bit “Can we open our one small present?” You jump up not really waiting for an answer. Your mom laughs and nods, standing as well and walking to the tree, Mark looking obviously confused so you explain “We have a tradition where we open a small present on Christmas eve! It’s so cool and kinda like a Christmas teaser” you laugh at Marks interested expression as you’re handed a gift. You plop back down next to mark, sleepiness pulling at your eyelids. When you reveal it’s a new 3DS game. You look at him holding the game in your hand, him shaking his head in approval, a smile on his lips.  
With presents opened everyone scatters to their rooms, you and mark being left alone in the living room the only light emanating from the Christmas tree. You and mark sat close, whispering back and forth with idle chatter, random dick jokes, and video game talk when your alarm goes off.

“Well shit, two minutes before Midnight, before Christmas” You yawn and snooze it until Thirty seconds before midnight, grasping for your now cold hot chocolate. After taking a sip you quietly stand and walk to the tree, grabbing a small red box and bring it to the couch again, plopping down net to Mark. “I was going to give this to you tomorrow but since you didn’t have a new years gift I might as well give it to you now”.

“Wow [Y/N] thank you, I didn’t expect a gift and I totally didn’t get you one” He says, focused on unwrapping it neatly. You laugh and shake your head.

“That’s totally fine, you being HERE, being my friend, that’s really the best gift ever!” You blush when you realized how sappy that sounded. Mark finally gets the gift opened, the wrapping a casualty of impatience. Inside the box is a sticker, the same one he noticed when he first went to the office, there was also a giftcard for starbucks. when he pulls it out you smile “Since you paid the first time we hung out, the next coffee outing is on me!” You smile proudly about your gifts and laugh at Mark’s awestruck face getting scared by the sudden alarm, marking Christmas day had come. 

“Thirty seconds until Christmas!” You whisper and giggle, mark’s face staring at yours softly.

“Hey, I have an idea for a gift I can give you” He whispers in a low gravelly voice, the tone surprising you a little. He motions for you to come closer, mischief in his eye as he watches you adjust yourself closer, your heart beating at a thousand miles per hour, trying to think of what gift he is going to give you, knowing the one you’d prefer. He softly presses his hand to your cheek, watching your face for any sign of rejection.  
The sudden booms of fireworks resound outside, marking the start of Christmas, snapping you back to the reality of Mark’s lips on yours. It takes up all of Mark’s willpower to pull away, leaving it a small kiss and nothing more. 

“Merry Christmas [Y/N]” He gives a flustered smile and stands, his hand holding yours to pull you up. You both silently walk to the door, unsure what to say as he walked out of your reach. Suddenly you call out to him.

“Mark!” You walk to him fast and bravely give him another kiss. “Thank you for my present. Merry Christmas” He smiles, an obvious blush on his cheeks, and slowly slips to his car, you waiting till he’s gone to have a complete fangirl moment. You run to your room and jump on your bed, concealing your squeals in your pillows. It doesn’t take long for you to drift into a Mark filled dream. 

The following morning was amazing as usual, your Christmas haul filled with great gifts. Most of the day is focused on getting everything put away but the few hours you had before meeting mark were spent flailing and trying to find an outfit that you were comfortable with that also looked decent. You hadn't received a text all day from Mark and i made you even more nervous. You had kissed but where was the relationship going to go? Your stomach knotted thinking about it.

A knock rang right as you just finished up getting ready. You step outside, the chill of the winter night making you shiver but the smile on Mark's face replaced the cold with a nice warm feeling. You made small chatter but the topic stayed far away from anything that may spark questions about the kiss. The lights of the tree amazed both you and Mark as you stood under the tree, your bodies are huddled together in the crowd, Mark's hand on your hip as to not lose you. The crowd settles and you stand there staring in awe at the tree, the warmth from Mark's hand keeping you toasty. 

"So um... Mark... can I ask... What did those kisses last night mean? Uh I mean like... for us?" You keep your eyes off Mark, a huge blush on your face and your heart beating fast. His hand clenches slightly, and when you look up to him he is staring into space. 

"I am going back to LA tomorrow...."


	8. Awkward goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course he would have to go but you didn't think it would be that painful,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY Thanks to my friend Kyla I finished this chapter. As always [Y/N] is your name.

"I am going back to LA tomorrow...." Mark’s voice was soft but firm, a quiet sadness in his tone as he pulls away.  


“I really really like you [Y/N] but… I just… can’t handle a long distance relationship right now and I…” He pauses, his voice having cracked a little  


“I hope we can still be friends though…” You stood silent watching him, the heavy weight sitting on your chest. You want to cry, to scream, to argue that he couldn’t do this to you, that he couldn’t just come into your life, make you fall for him and then leave!  


But you don’t. You fight back the tears and smile. 

“Oh y-yeah duh, of course you have to go back to LA haha of course we can be friends!” You play it off and watch the relief wash over his face.  
You leave not long after, Mark filling the silence with random chatter leaving you wishing the ride home could be silent and awkward that way you wouldn’t have to fight both the lump in your throat and the tears sitting right behind your eyes. Parting was easier but awkward, exchanging his actual contact info and bidding him a farewell.  
The next morning the light hits your eyes blinding you as you awake, them being already sensitive from the hours you spent bawling your eyes out instead of sleeping. You didn’t want to leave your bed but the unrelenting hunger and the smell of breakfast leaking from the kitchen persuade you. You smile at your mom and siblings, hoping none of them realize the heaviness that you felt in your heart. 

“So mister Markiplier is going home today, you must be sad to see him go” Your mom takes a bit and looks at you, not realizing the heartstring she pulled.

“Uh yeah I guess, I mean I got to MEET him and hang out with him and ki…” You stop, realizing that not only did you not TELL her about that you couldn’t bear to bring up the memory or you would cry straight into your eggs.  
It was a lazy Saturday and so it was also very uneventful until you received your first text from Mark since he had left you the night before.

Mark (3:15): Hey, I know things ended a little awkward last night and I just wanted to tell you that I am here to talk anytime. I am always just one call away!  
This makes you smile and feel a little better about the situation. You sit and text him for the rest of the day, still pained with the hurt of loss but… better.  
It took a few days to recover. The days spent mostly fighting yourself, upset and heartbroken but also just happy you got to be friends with THE Markiplier. Your replies to Mark were slow, but after a few days you get back to how you were, dick jokes and all. 

Months pass, birthdays pass, and soon it becomes hard for both of you to keep in touch. You gaining more responsibility, moving into your own house with a roommate, and getting a promotion. As you grew out of your shell you made new friends and started spending most of your off time with them, never mentioning Mark other than normal fangirl talk, keeping the short talks you got to have with him as your own little secret. As the time went on, though, you started noticing his replies being short, the calls nonexistent, and then all together the texting and messaging stopped completely.  
At first you would sit for hours, fighting the urge to cry, watching his videos, reading his tweets and facebook posts, trying to make excuses why he wouldn’t reply to any of your messages. The longer you went without messaging the faster you started to fill your time with other entertainment and people, slowly spending more time socializing than staying on the internet. 

After months had past the name “Markiplier” became nothing more than a faint memory, an old obsession, a silently closed chapter of your life. You had completely cut him out of your life, no more videos, no more fanfiction, no more feelings. All this giving way for happiness and love, finding yourself falling head over heels for a close friend. In no time at all you had moved in with him, adopting your very own yellow lab puppy, and after half a year of begging and pleading he convinced you to move out to LA, swearing that it would help him start his YouTube career.

It took a couple months to get settled in your small one bedroom apartment that cost about as much as a nice four-bedroom house would back in Florida. The things you do for love. You took up a job at a small local café, working late hours.

“Just till my subscriber count raises” He would tell you every time you complained about how tired you were. It was nearing December and it still hadn’t happened, the AdSense not making nearly enough to cover his half of the expenses.

“You’re going to HAVE to get a job” Your voice is firm. 

“I HAVE TOLD YOU I CAN’T HAVE A JOB AND KEEP UP WITH MY UPLOAD SCHEDULE” Another argument over this shit and still he screams back with the SAME retort. You had this argument so many times, on so many occasions you forget it, give up and make up. This time, though, you had enough.

“whatever, I am done with this conversation I am going for a run and I’m taking Serenity” You say as you walk past him, clipping the walk-ready leash on Serenity’s Harness, tying your hair up and leaving all in a few minutes.  
As you ran the rainbow of Christmas lights helped clear your mind, the cool wind biting your cheeks from where the tears streaked down your cheek. The look on your goofy lab’s face made you smile making it all a bit better. Suddenly Serenity picks up on something interesting, dragging you behind. Her full forced pull dragged you past the next street and straight though the legs of an innocent bystander, forcing you into him, knocking him down. Serenity’s leash flying from you hand but the stranger grabs it, Serenity jerking a bit but continuously focused on the other dog. 

“I am SO SORRY, I don’t know why she did that, she NEVER does that!” You blurt out flustered, rubbing your hurt knee, rolling the leg up to see how bad it was.

“Ah no it’s fine I just… [Y/N]?” The voice makes your ears perk up, your name making your eyes shoot from your wound to the face of a painful memory. You flinch slightly as your mind brings up every memory you had forcibly forgotten.

“M-mark…”


	9. Chapter 9: We meet again and again and again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad decisions lead to worse decisions with alcohol involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am BACK again! This chapter is probably my longest chapter but sometimes inspiration works like that. Warning a bit of drama, drunk people, and cursing!
> 
> As always [Y/N] is Your Name, and in this chapter and maybe the future, [Bf/N] is your Boyfrriend's Name
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“M-mark…” Your voice is low, a quiet squeak that was but a whisper on the busy LA night. You shove your pant leg down and stand just a little too quickly, the cold air making your head float for a second as you reach for Serenity’s leash. Mark’s hand steadies you by gripping your shoulder. When your head stops spinning you slip your shoulder from mark’s grip, pulling Serenity back to your side and away from the golden retriever attached to Mark’s belt. 

“H-hey so what are ya doin in LA?” Mark attempts to look into your eyes but you refuse to keep his eye. His question hangs in the air as you remain silent, Serenity pulling your arm forward again. Mark bends down and pets the hyperactive yellow lab. 

“Aww hello sweet pupper, what’s your name?” Mark coos at Serenity, glancing up at you and catching your eye. You promptly look away.

“Serenity.” You bend down and pet both the yellow dogs sitting between you and Mark. “And I moved out here with my boyfriend” You feel his gaze on you but you keep your attention on the puppies now on their backs begging for belly rubs. The silence between the two of you was awkward. 

“I should be going” You stand up again, this time slow and steady. You pull on Serenity’s leash and start walking away.

“Wait! We should catch up and…” You turn and his sentence trails off as you shake your head.

“Can’t, it’s late and my boyfriend is probably worried” You watched his face. You knew it wasn’t right but you wanted to hurt him. You wanted to see his stupid gorgeous chocolate colored eyes fill with the same pain that he had inflicted on you when he’d stopped responding. You finally let his eyes catch yours and you see exactly what you wanted. You turn around and walk briskly back to your apartment, Serenity following just behind you. When your apartment is in sight you stop and let out the sob you held in your throat. Tears streamed down your face as you stood just outside your apartment. It was painful. All the memories and feeling and loneliness came crashing over you. 

The ride up the elevator to your floor was filled with sniffles and stifled sobs. You knew as soon as you entered the apartment your boyfriend would smother you in apologies and kisses and try not to start another argument. Luckily you didn’t want to argue, you just wanted to get in there into his arms and go to sleep. That is exactly what you did.  
Waking to a noisy alarm clock and the lack of arms around you didn’t set up the day well, your mood already dampened. You rise and head straight to the kitchen expecting to see your brown haired beauty of a boyfriend but he was nowhere to be found causing your aggravation to grow. You send him a quick text asking where he was and started getting ready to head to work. 

Hours past and you continue to check your phone every five minutes. Standing slanted leaning against the back of the checkout counter, your chin rested in your hand as you wait for either a text back or a customer. As if an answer from the boredom gods the front door bell rings and two customers walk in.

“And like I finally got a setup that I feel really ups my conte… Babe!” The familiar voice of your boyfriend rings in your ears and you smile looking up, your heart stopping when you see the figure behind him that he was talking to.

“Oh hey love” You respond keeping your eyes off his plus one, giving him a small kiss over the counter. “My break is just about to start so…” You start slipping your apron off but he stops you.

“Wait-wait-wait, could we get a couple of those special coffees you make for me and have you come chill with us at a booth?” He points at Mark behind him, who was slowly walking towards a seat, an uncomfortable look on his face. With a sigh you nod and tell him to go take a seat at a table and you’d be right over with drinks.

You walk over, three mugs labeled with odd puns which was just one of the charms of the small coffee shop. Wobbling a little as you set your boyfriend’s down first Mark rises awkwardly trying to help, grabbing the one you were about to set in front of him. His hand rests on yours as he grabs the cup and the speed you pull your hands from underneath his almost makes him drop the cup.

“[Y/N], I know you don’t really care for Youtubers but this man right here is my INSPIRATION to start my channel! Mark, this is [Y/N] the girlfriend I was telling you about, [Y/n], this is THE Markiplier” your boyfriend acts like a fanboy gushing over his role model as you sit down next to him and it makes you smile. Taking a deep breath you look at Mark directly in the eyes and extend your hand. 

“Nice to meet you mister Markiplier” You could tell he was trying to keep a kind face but you could see the hint of hurt. He took your hand and shook it.   
“How did you guys end up meeting?” Your attention now on your boyfriend.  
“Actually it’s kinda funny, I ran into him right outside the apartment! He was walking Chica and, Oh Chica is his dog, and I just started a convo and we found we were both headed to the electronics store for camera parts! Haha what a coincidence huh?” He laughs and takes a large sip of his coffee, mark laughing and doing the same. 

“So [Bf/N] told me a lot about you” Mark sets his cup down and looks up at you. Before you could say anything your boyfriend interrupts him, standing up and slipping from your side.

“I gotta go take a leak real quick, [Y/N], don’t be flirting with my Youtube idol haha” He leaves with the awkward joke, knowing it was more of a warning since you knew how jealous he got. You watch him slip into the bathroom and hear a deep cough.

“So that’s your Boyfriend huh? He seems nice…” He trails off as he watches you stare into your coffee which was nearly empty. With your silence he continues to talk. “Funny that you ended up with a youtuber boyfriend and moved to LA” With the mixture of his tone and the hint of spite in his voice his words felt like a slap to the face. 

“What exactly are you getting at hm?” You look up at him with a glare and he shakes his head as if he didn’t mean anything by it. 

“I wasn’t getting at anything I just… It’s nice to see you again… Hah in a coffee shop nonetheless” He chuckles at the coincidence and looks to the ceiling, running his fingers through his silky hair. “I missed you ya know…” The words send a rush of emotions through you and it hits a nerve.

“Too bad you didn’t miss me enough to contact me huh” You spit the poison retort, glaring at him only for a second until the sound of the bathroom door swinging open signifies your boyfriend’s return. You feign a smile.  
“Oh yes, I watch every one of his videos, I am not much of a Youtube person so… Hey love!” You swiftly make it sound like you were having a friendly conversation, catching Mark a little off guard. Soon your break is over and you have to say goodbye to your boyfriend. You kiss him goodbye, admittedly making it longer than usual on purpose.

You stay late to close out the store, your whole body aching. You lock up and as if out of nowhere your boyfriend pops up behind you, causing the biggest heart attack of your life. After calming down for a sec and millions of apologies for scaring you your boyfriend smiles his usual ‘wants you to do something’ smile.

“What? What is it now?” You stare blank faced at him, exhausted.

“Ok babe just hear me out ok?” He waits for you to sigh and nod before continuing. “Ok so Mark and his crew all wanted to get together and have a drink but they all are bringing their girlfriends and I don’t wanna be there all alone, it looks lame ya know?” He pleads, doing the cute pouty face he knew you couldn’t resist. With an exhausted sigh you Nod.

“Ugh fine, only a few drinks and for a few hours. I am exhausted” He smiles and wraps his arm around yours, escort style, and you chuckle as you start walking to your destination.

Alcohol and you had always had a tense relationship. You normally never drank more than a glass or two of wine but the first glass of whatever the licorice tasting drink that your boyfriend handed to you already had your head spinning. You sat on a stool, quietly drinking the oddly tasty alcohol swiveling back and forth not paying attention to anything your boyfriend was saying to the group of guys. Apparently their girlfriends had bailed on them. 

About twenty minutes and three drinks later you were utterly trashed, giggling along with the group of equally trashed guys. All except for Mark, who while still having fun didn’t have anything alcoholic to drink. Your boyfriend and the other guys went up to grab more drinks while you and Mark sat alone in the booth your group had moved to. You lay hunched over the table your arm under you while you rest your head, the loud music starting to become a headache. Still giggling you look up at Mark with blurry squinted eyes.

“Your head looks funny from down here” You say and go into another giggle fit. You heard his deep slow chuckle.

“Your face looks funny from up here” His voice is low but loud enough for you to hear over the music. In response you stick your tongue out at him and sit up he smiles as he sips from his glass of coke.

“Why arentcha drinkin anything” You find saying full sentences is oddly hard when you’re pretty drunk. He gives you an odd look, like not expecting you to not know the answer. 

“I uh, I can’t, I’ll die haha” He laughs to himself like it’s an inside joke but you just tilt your head. Recognising your continued confusion Mark fills in the gaps.  
“Well a little bit ago I had a heart thing happen and welp now I can’t drink or I will die” he tries to laugh away the odd seriousness.

“That SUCKS” You pout, cursing this unjust world under your breath, but apparently loud enough for Mark to laugh. His laughter sending ripples through you, causing yours to surge. After laughing for what felt like hours but realistically was only minutes, you both have your heads resting on the table. You peek up and gaze at Mark’s dark hair, the poofyness appealing to the drunk side of you. Like when you see a poofy cat. You really NEEDED to pet the poof.  
“Mark, don’be weird but... can I petchur hair? It lookslika silkyCAT” Your mouth stumbles over words but Mark seems to get the jist and again starts laughing his dark goofy laugh.

“Yeah sure go ahead” He sits up and scoots closer to you, you sloppily following his movements. As drunk you expected, poofy as heck. But what you hadn’t expected was the implications of sitting close to someone and running your fingers through their hair. 

“WHAT THE FUCK” Your boyfriend’s voice was loud enough to overtake the music despite both of you being at opposite sides of the table. Mark immediately pulled back, starting explaining what was happening but you just sat there. Confused. What could your boyfriend even be angry about? Not listening to Mark, [Bf/N] grabs your wrist ripping you from the seat. 

“Ow ow ow, stop!” You fumble as [Bf/N] continues to pull you out of the club. You fight his hand looking back at the jacket you had left, the t-shirt you were wearing not suffice enough for the cold LA winters. Mark follows close behind, trying to stop him from pulling you and explain what was happening but still your boyfriend wouldn’t stop. 

The cold air blasts your weary senses, shocking your body into a full awake state. You pull your arm back from him finally, stomping in anger. Mark comes out right behind you and continues trying to talk sense into your boyfriend.

“Look, I’m telling you it’s not what you think” Mark’s voice was calm and calculated but [Bf/N] just shakes his head.

“Yeah explain to me why MY GIRL is sitting all up on you running her fingers through your hair huh? Explain that huh?” He was obviously drunk and belligerent, swiping at your hand again, completely immune to the stares of the fellow bar goers and the commotion he was causing. 

“[Bf/N], listen man, she was just drunk and wanted to touch my hair” Not liking the answer [Bf/N] walks up to Mark, puffing his chest out threatening to fight him. You stand between them trying to keep your boyfriend from assaulting Mark.

“Babe! Seriously it wasn’t anything sexual or anything his hair just seemed fucking soft. Why are you freaking out about such a small fucking thing?” You shout at [Bf/N] trying to get him to settle down, your teeth clattering together as you were freezing cold. Not listening your boyfriend swings at Mark, who easily dodges the swing. Unable to stop the force of his fist he ends up bumping his whole body weight into you, knocking you down face first into the concrete. 

Immediately Mark disengages from the situation and kneels down to you, offering a hand to you and assessing the damages. Aside from some minor scrapes along your left cheek and palms you were fine. Mark’s ignoring sets [Bf/N]’s anger off again and he swings at mark while he hands his jacket to you. 

“You fucker you made me run into my girlfriend I will fuck you up” He yells through gritted teeth, his fist headed directly for Mark. Getting socked right in the eye mark stumbles back.

“BABE, PLEASE, STOP!! ” You scream at him, tears now slipping down your stinging cheek. Mark recoils from the punch with his own, clocking him square in the nose, knocking him out flat.

You couldn’t apologize enough to Mark, not only did he pay to endure the awkward silent taxi ride, he helped drag [Bf/N] to your apartment and into the bed. When all was said and done the least you could do was get him some like peas or something for his eye. 

“I honestly can’t believe this is happening. Why is it that my life can’t be anything but a series of awkward moments back to back I swear…” You go on a short rant to yourself while you grab the pea… carrots, as you don’t own any peas. Mark looks up at you, his eye scrunched up with a hint of black and purple puffed skin. You huff and offer the veggies in silence.

“Do you think my subscribers will still love me if I am no longer pretty?” He points to his eye with a pouty face that makes you giggle just a bit, graciously breaking the silence. 

“You’re still pretty, don’t worry” You smile and stick out your tongue.


	10. Chapter 10: Treat you better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out leads to dirty clothes and waking up in Marks bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah here's another chapter! I am gonna be trying to write and post as much as I can before this inspiration streak disappears!  
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos, bookmarked, and commented! I really appreciate the feedback!  
> As always [Y/N] is your name and [Bf/N] is Boyfriend name.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You’re still pretty, don’t worry” You smile and stick out your tongue.

“W-wait hey, was that a compliment or an insult???” His pout gets bigger and you laugh a little harder than you mean to, your eyes flicking to your room watching for any movement. You take a sharp inhale, becoming over aware of your breathing and the pain stinging your cheek and palms.

“I’m sorry” You apologize again for the fiftieth time and Mark let’s out an aggravated groan. He was obviously very weary, his eyes red from exhaustion. You look at him startled, You had never seen him get angry in any way in person. Even during the fight he seemed calm and collected but now he was visually aggravated. It made you shrink into a ball, feeling all the more guilty for all of this. Mark seems to notice and shakes his head.

“It’s not your fault, at all and that’s what pisses me off” He takes a breath to watch his tone “Here you are feeling guilty and apologizing for everything while the one who SHOULD be apologizing is in bed asleep… It pisses me off cause you deserve better than that jerk in there” He put it bluntly and lets out an exhausted sigh.  
“I should be going home, I’m exhausted.” Mark rises and walks to the door, you hop up and follow him. 

“Hey um… I had a nice night for what it’s worth” You whisper to mark as you shrug and smile. He stands in your doorway shaking his head. 

“I was happy to see you and I really do think we should catch up… I also think you don’t deserve the treatment you’re getting.” He stares you in the eyes, your faces so close to each other so the whispers could be heard but the closeness was dangerous. The magnet of attraction still there and VERY strong but you both pull back not allowing yourselves to make bad decisions. With a silent wave, Mark heads off to home and you slip back to the couch, not wanting to wake your boyfriend. You cuddle the throw pillow until you realize you still had a jacket on, Mark’s jacket. You fought with the idea of taking it off and being freezing but you decided comfort over drama and pass out.

Your eyes peek open to the sound of muffled ranting. You look to your room and see the door shut and probably locked. Your bedroom doubled as a recording studio for [Bf/N]’s videos and anytime the door was closed it meant recording. With a loud sigh you look for your phone and realize it was left at the bar inside your jacket pocket. Cursing you also realize the shop keys are in there and you’re late to open the coffee shop.  
“Babe I know you’re recording but I need to change into a new uniform and get going! I’m late!” You call through the door. With a loud thud and angry huff [Bf/N] flings the door open, his face dark and bruised, both eyes black. He eyes you up and down.

“Are you fucking serious right now, you’re asking for a favor when you’re STILL wearing his jacket? Fuck you go to work in dirty clothes.” He slams the door causing you to jump back. 

“[Bf/N], HEY, are YOU serious right now? Can I at least use your fucking phone? Dammit!” you bang on the door getting out your anger. With a huff you say fuck it, brush your hair, and head out.

Walking out of your building you immediately spot the brown locks of a familiar face.

“Okay this is too often NOT to call stalking so i’m just gonna go over here and call the cops” You joke, Mark walking to your side as you head to the bar you had left last night.

“Okay, I MAY have a problem but it’s not stalking, I’m just too nice of a guy” He chuckles holding your phone in front of you.

“HOLY SHIT YOU’RE A GOD AMONG MEN” You praise him mimic bowing “I am not worthy” you take your phone and check your calls and texts. Before you get too carried away mark also holds out the Keys to your work as well.

“I went to the bar early this morning and grabbed your jacket and everything, sadly I forgot the actual thing at home haha” He laughs but then stops you, looking up and down like he hadn’t noticed something before.  
“Are those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday? … Including my jacket?” You look away ashamed, knowing what he’s gonna say when you tell him.

“U-uh well… [Bf/N] Was recording and he records in our room so I wasn’t able to get in… and he got angry I was wearing your jacket still…” Mark just stared, his fists clenched. He stays quiet as you receive a call from your coworker. You explain the situation, only filling in small details, and head to return the keys. Luckily a coworker could take up your shift and allowed you the day off.

Not wanting to return home just yet you let mark coerce you to go to his house so you could grab your jacket. When you get there you aren’t surprised that it’s a nicer house than you had ever lived in before.

“Wow, when done right Youtube money makes a killing huh?” The hint of spite in your voice caught Mark’s attention.

“When done right? You mean when you don’t move out to LA before you have a steady income” He mocks and while you know he was joking it hit a chord of truth. You just scowl at him and walk into his house. A large yellow Lab meets you at the door, her tail wagging like crazy.

“Hello there pupper, I remember you! I have a pupper at home who looks JUST like you” You pet Chica until she scampers off to go lay down.

Plopping down on his couch you feel like the weight of the world is lifted. As you revel in the comfiness Mark walks past you to the kitchen asking if you want a drink.

“Vodka on the rocks” You say in a, what you consider, “sophisticated accent” He chuckles.

“I don’t actually HAVE any alcohol but I got chocolate milk?” You pop up and look at him with a serious face.

“I will take chocolate milk over alcohol any day” You say as if it’s a sacrifice you’re willing to take.

After about three cups of chocolate milk you lie across one couch as Mark sits on the other watching whatever is on TV. Your eyes were heavy but the more weary you got the more sensitive you were to the grimy feeling you felt. Sitting up you look at Mark.

“Hey so can I use your shower? I feel gross… Ah shit if I just put these clothes back on..” You stiff your shirt and scrunch up your face, the smell of alcohol all over it. Mark jumps up and fast walks out of the room then seconds later comes back with a shirt and pair of shorts.

“Here, I have some clothes you can change into” He smiles and hands them to you, you immediately picking up the red plaid shirt with a big goofy grin on your face.

“LUCKY RED FLANNEL!” You yell in excitement and hear Mark laugh.

“Not quite, that one went missing at a convention so this is a whole different shirt though if you wear it, it’ll no doubt become lucky” The flirty line hung in the air for a second, a slow blush creeping to your cheeks. You chuckle awkwardly, looking at the floor as you push the hair behind your ear. Mark’s face flushes only slightly as he realises that came out wrong. He clears his throat.  
“A-anyway, the bathroom is down the hall, the third door on the left.” He points and you nod, jumping up and and fast walking to the bathroom.

The warm water felt amazing on your skin. The sweat and grime gone with the suds down the drain. As you stand under the showerhead you close your eyes thinking on the craziness of the past two years. Your mind starts fantasizing your life if you were dating and living with Mark but then the memories of him leaving and slowly not responding float in your thoughts. The memory of the depression you fell into sours your fantasies. You shook out all of those thoughts and focus on your boyfriend as you turn off the shower and get dressed. 

The red plaid shirt was a bit big on you, hanging loose, the shorts just big enough to reach your knees. Drying your hair you walk back out into the living room. Rounding the hallway corner you notice the slight snore echoing through the room. With a quiet giggle you walk to the couch that Mark is now napping on. Not wanting to wake him up you decide to explore the house.

Despite how nice it was it was just like any other three bedroom house. You check out each room, one being a recording room, the other being a workout room, and then of course his bedroom. Entering the bedroom you see Chica laying on his bed. Sneakily you slip onto the bed and pet her, missing your dog already. Slowly the comfiness of the bed sucks you in and soon are passed out cuddling Chica. 

Your eyes slip open to the sound of your phone ringing repeatedly. Confused and not sure where you are you slightly freak out until you see Mark standing in the doorway yawning, leaning up against the frame. Your heart stops for a second at the holy sight of disheveled sleepy Mark.

“Hey [Y/N]” He smiled groggily, clearing the sleep from his eyes. “Sorry I must have passed out, I was still pretty exhausted from last night.” He yawns again, this time making you yawn as well. You sit up and stretch, noticing Chica was gone causing a bit of a pout. Your phone rings again. You grab it and see who's been blowing you up. Seeing the name you groan and answer.

“Hey love, sorry I was bu..” You start your excuses for not answering but he interrupts you.

“Where the hell are you?” Your boyfriend’s voice rung out, obviously angry, loud enough for even Mark to hear, his face scowling at the voice.


	11. Chapter 11: Red Handed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're good at making amends but drama likes to cling to you. Youtuber boyfriends only make things worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down!  
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos, bookmarked, and commented! I really appreciate the feedback!  
> As always [Y/N] is your name and [Bf/N] is Boyfriend name.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Where the hell are you?” You stay quiet to [Bf/N]’s loud questioning, your brain freezing completely. Your eyes shoot to mark, resembling a deer in headlights. He mimes taking a breath and you realize you were holding yours.  
“Hello? [Y/N]? What the fuck I KNOW you’re there! [Y/N] Say some...” You hold the phone away from your face and take a breath.

“Babe, stop yelling for two seconds would you?!” You yell at the phone and hear it go silent for a second. You bring the phone back to your ear. Mark leaving the room shaking his head so he doesn’t say something.  
“Thank you. God, I am at work okay?” You felt bad about lying, you firmly believed honesty was the foundation of a relationship but you knew how irrational your boyfriend got sometimes.

“BULLSHIT” he shouts again making you jump and almost drop the phone.  
“I was just there and they said you dropped off the keys and LEFT WITH A GUY. Now tell me again, [Y/N]. Where. ARE. YOU?” Your fist clenched as he continued to shout and demand answers. Ordering you to tell him where you were. You got pissed.

“You know what, fuck it, yeah I AM at Mark’s house, you know why? Because I COULDN’T go to work today and the thought of going home to you acting like THIS repulsed me.” You were teeming with anger. He was silent and you couldn’t tell if he was going to hang up on you or yell some more.

“You’re right, I am in the wrong I’m sorry. Come home soon?” He sounded defeated and guilty and you felt your own tinge of guilt for being so angry and mean. With a deep sigh you soften your tone.

“I’ll be home in a bit, when I get there can we please have a serious conversation?” Your voice a calm almost whisper as he agrees.

With a groan you slip from Mark’s bed, despite how comfy it was. As you walk out to the living room you hear your boyfriend's voice and got thoroughly confused until you realize his voice is coming from a video on Mark’s TV.

“Yes that’s right THE Markiplier ASSAULTED ME” There he was, your boyfriend in your room, the furniture only slightly hidden by a green screen backdrop, doing a video rant. You pinch your nose, the frustration and embarrassment overwhelming you making your head hurt. You walk up behind mark, his attention slipping from the TV to you for a second then back to the TV. The idiot on the screen continues to rant saying ridiculous things like claiming Mark was trying to take his girl.

“I think the biggest question at the moment is, is his subscriber base large enough for this to reach MY subscribers and start drama?” Mark lets his head fall back looking at up you. You shake your head and groan. 

“I honestly don’t know… But knowing YOUR fandom…” You get flashbacks to your first meeting with Mark. It wasn’t super long ago but it felt like eons. 

“Exactly what does THAT mean?” Mark feigns being insulted. You both laugh but you trail off, remembering just how bad the hate got. With the memory a wave of panic hits you. 

Mark notices your silence and distant stare and turns his body facing you.

“Everything ok [Y/N]?” You blink and look up at him nodding not so convincingly then noticing Mark wasn’t buying it you shake your head.

“I don’t want to go through that again to be honest…” Mark slips from the couch and walks in front of you, offering a hug. You plop into his arms all the negative feelings fleeing as his strong arms wrap around you.  
“Let’s hope your fandom has grown since then…” You sigh and relax against his chest before taking a deep breath and slipping from Mark’s arms.

“I gotta go and talk to my idiot.. Maybe I can talk him into taking down that STUPID video…” Your eyes glancing to the TV again and catch Mark’s look of disgust. 

“Oooor you could just stay here and not give in to that dickbag…” Mark stops and raises his hands defensively to the glare you give him.

“He has some issues, I know, but he’s a good guy and he has been there for me when I needed him most. I love him and I am not going to throw that away.” Your face was serious and mark nodded defeated offering to pay for your taxi.

You spent the Taxi ride scrolling through the Markiplier tag on Tumblr, watching for any hint of your boyfriend’s accusations. You didn’t have many social media accounts that you could still remember the logins for but that didn’t stop you from worrying about the potential backlash or the worse possibility of you being connected to the drama so long ago.  
Taking a deep breath you stand outside your apartment and prepare to go in. You slip in and listen for any sounds of life other than the hyper golden retriever happily running around. The rest of the house oddly quiet you start to become suspicious. You check your room, the bathrooms, and the kitchen finding no one. When you call his phone it rings and rings. Worried, you sit on the couch with your knees to your chest. Luckily minutes later the door opens, you jumping to your feet. The first thing that greeted you was a bouquet of flowers, your favorite in fact. 

“Listen babe, I know I freaked out for no reason and I shouldn’t have done that this morning” He lowers the flowers and shows his face. You smile and take the flowers inhaling the scent. After setting them on the counter you turn to him and slip your arms on top of his shoulders bringing your face close to his.

“Love you are forgiven, i’m sorry too” You press your lips against his and he grabs your waist. You pull back and smile at him, pulling away when you get a whiff of an odd scent that sets off your allergies. As you sneezed you could smell the flowery sweet perfume that definitely wasn’t the flowers. You pass it off since it was probably picked up at the flower store. You both retire to your room.

“It was odd seeing you so comfortable with a guy while you were drunk to be honest” [Bf/N] adds to the conversation about WHY things turned out the way they did the other night that had developed as you cuddled in bed.  
“Usually you stick close to me and I dunno… Then you were running your fingers through his hair… I mean you had JUST met the guy and had become friendly so fast it threw me off and set off my jealousy bells…” He admits, his face covered in embarrassment. You stare up at him from his chest feeling guilty that you hadn’t told him that you met Mark before. You knew it would make the situation worse but it reminded you of the stupid video he had posted.

“I’m sorry baby, I was drunk and stupid and his hair just looked silky haha… But now that it’s all over can you take down that rant video?” His eyebrows furrow and he looks down at you shocked.

“You saw it? You never watch my videos?” You didn’t want to mention Mark again in case it set your boyfriend off but he was right, you never watched his videos. Thinking of an excuse you pull away and turn your back to him.

“I checked just in case you did something like that and saw the video… You know it’s only going to start drama and you KNOW how I feel about drama [Bf/N]...” You cross your arms defensively. You never told him about the specific situation but you had explained the gist and that now you start shutting down whenever you get put into high drama situations. 

He was stubborn though. Refusing to remove the video but swearing that it wouldn’t fall back on you and even that this kinda drama is good for gaining new followers. For the following week you keep an eye on as many social media’s as you could. Your boyfriend’s reach was to less than 100 subscribers but you would still check worried things would get crazy fast.

You didn’t see Mark for the whole week, actively avoiding him. Your boyfriend didn’t like you around him and so you respected that. The days went back to routine, work, home, sleep, repeat until soon christmas was right around the corner. You took the time to decorate your apartment a little, putting up a tiny tree that your dog had the habit of knocking over and a few lights around the house. You weren’t the biggest fan of christmas much any more, it losing it’s appeal between the heartbreak and becoming an adult who has to pay bills.

The holidays were crazy for you, the coffee shop being filled with people wanting the specialty christmas drink that only your shop made. You started coming home too exhausted to do much other than pass out and slowly you noticed your boyfriend becoming distant and start heading out when you get home. You knew it was hard on him so gave him a pass until after christmas, not bitching or asking questions. Though he wasn’t asking for money which meant he was leaving with only what he had received from Youtube. You realized you hadn’t checked his subscriber count but with the frequency of the going out you figured he must have had a jump in subscribers.

One day after work you come home and he’s already gone, the house quiet except for the hyper Serenity. You decide you have enough energy to stay awake a little bit and decide to play on the computer a bit. You open it up and Youtube is already open, to your boyfriend’s account no less. You sat there shocked, the subscriber count having risen exponentially. You end up watching some of his videos and only realize the time when your eyes were heavy. 

The next week upcoming to christmas you work harder than you had, deciding to try to get something you could give your boyfriend for both a congratulations and christmas. It took you a while to decide exactly what to get him but as it got closer you found the perfect gift.

Christmas Eve you slipped out the door early, telling [Bf/N] that you were going to run a couple errands but you would be back before Hot chocolate time, which was the official start to your christmas tradition that you and he did every year you had been together. Of course he just agreed and said he was going out himself. With a kiss and an “I love you” You both set off. A minor tinge of guilt sat in your stomach as you rode in a Taxi to Mark’s house. You couldn’t NOT at least get him a present but having to sneak around to get it to him was not ideal. 

Mark’s house was decorated thoroughly and it brought a small smile to your face. You could never afford to decorate like this but seeing it made you happy. You knock first but when there's only silence you look around for a doorbell. A few seconds later Mark opens the door while laughing. He looks at you for a second before the recognition hits his eyes and his smile widens.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” You shyly hold up the red present, wrapped as neatly as you could manage. Mark's eyes go wide and he slaps his forehead. 

“Shit! I totally didn't get you anything…” you shake your head and hold out the present more.

“No no it's fine! It's not like it's much I just figured since you were so nice I should get you something as thanks.” He takes the package from you and insists it, shaking it lightly to try to hear what's inside.  
“You're not allowed to open it before Christmas though!” You laugh at his immediate pout but he agrees, offering for you to come in and drink some hot chocolate with the team but you shake your head and tell him you have to go run more errands.

With that out of the way you go shopping getting [Bf/N]’s present and some needed supplies like hot chocolate and extra large marshmallows. You end up grabbing a few presents for the co workers at the shop and dropping them off as well.

The sun sets slowly, making your view of the Christmas lights on apartments glow as you walk down the sidewalk. You near your house filled with that good old Christmas spirit and ready to drink hot chocolate and celebrate with the love of your life. You enter the house and were greeted by a familiar silence. You had a feeling you would get home before your boyfriend and were happy you did so you could throw up a few more decorations. Mark's house inspired you and your boyfriend has dealt with you being a scrooge for long enough. Lastly before it gets too late you make hot chocolate for you and have a cup prepped for [Bf/N] when he gets home, settling on the couch under a warm Christmas blanket waiting.

The sound of the door slowly opening wakes you from the deep sleep you had fallen into. You look at the clock on your phone.

4:17 A.M. Dec 25th.

You sit up slowly, your boyfriend's back to you not noticing your presence as he sneaks towards your bedroom door.

As if he sensed you He turns and looks at you similar to a child who had been caught stealing a cookie. His hair was disheveled, clothing way more wrinkled than when he left in the morning. What both caught your eye and broke your heart though, was the familiar little red spots that littered his neck. The strong scent of a flowery perfume that tickled your nose making you want to sneeze. 

“Merry Christmas…” your voice cracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the story nears it's end I'm already working out a whole new story! This one a more fantasy based Mark x reader so if you liked this one, keep an eye out for that one after this one wraps up!


	12. Christmas heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems Christmases are the perfect time for heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter down! Thank you to everyone whose commented and left kudos and all that! It really helps me get motivated to write the next chapter knowing people are actually invested in it! 
> 
> Warning these chapters may get pretty sad so beware haha
> 
> As always [Y/N] is your name and [Bf/N] is your boyfriend's name

“Merry Christmas…” your voice cracks. You try to keep your composure hoping this was all just some groggy illusion.

“B-babe, heh hey uh Merry Christmas” Your boyfriend tugged his jacket closer to his neck trying to hide the red hickeys hoping to hide them before you were awake enough to see them. It was too late, you were wide awake now and the red marks were as plain as day. Your heart sinks.  
“Uh I’m just gonna slip to bed, see you in the morni…” You stand quickly grabbing onto his jacket and pulling it displaying the marks clearly. He starts stammering trying to explain how it was “not how it looked”, his breath reeking of alcohol. You were furious, anger rising where rationally sadness would. 

“I can’t FUCKING believe you” You expected your voice to be tough and solid but the pitchy crack in it caused a more sob-like sound. 

“Hey, you can’t put all the blame on me, this is just as much YOUR fault as mine.” He yanks his jacket back, stumbling against the wall using it to hold himself up.

“MY fault? How exactly is it MY fault Hm?” 

“You’re never around any more and when you come home you’re too tired to do anythin together and you never watch my videos and you picked a guy you BARELY know over your own BOYFRIEND.” He spit the word boyfriend at you, the scent of alcohol causing you to gag a little. His words leaving you speechless. You looked into his glazed eyes and before you could cry you ran out of the apartment. 

As you reached the end of your street you burst into tears, covering your mouth trying to suppress your sobs. Unable to think you do the one thing that comes natural to you. Run. 

You run as fast as you can, as far as you can. The cold LA night biting at your cheek, the decorations that once awed now burned your blurry red eyes. Finally when your lungs are on fire and legs close to numb you stop and your tears slow, a hollow feeling creeping into your chest. You didn't know where you were or where you were going but at this point you didn't care. 

Letting your legs direct you, your puffy red eyes stared blankly in front of you. Your whole body shook, teeth chattering together, jacketless arms wrapped tight around you trying to create warmth. It wasn't till the familiar sight of the twinkling lights attached to a fancy house that you realized you had walked all the way to Mark's neighborhood. Weakly you walk to his door, the exhaustion hitting your body as you tap on the door. You stay conscious long enough to see Mark open the door, a wide smile greeting you.

“[Y/N]! Hey!” You see his smile drop right as your eyes close, feeling his arms wrap around you as you lose consciousness.

Your unconscious mind plays cruel dreams as you sleep, scenarios of catching [Bf/N] with another woman.

“It's your fault” your boyfriend's words echo through your subconscious making waking up your only escape.

Your eyes peek open Just the slightest bit, the sight blurry but the warmth surrounding you making you feel safe. Groggy you forget just where you were and the events that had transpired earlier. It was only when Mark spoke, his voice filled with obvious worry, that it had all come back.

“Hey, [Y/N]” his voice was soft as he came into view, your eyes focusing on him. “How are you feeling?”.

You shuffle around in the giant blanket they had wrapped you in sitting up, your skin still chilled and hands shaking. Mark moves to your side, the rest of teamiplier trying to be sneaky and watching from the hallway not realizing you can see them. You don't care though. As you reach full consciousness it all comes flooding back, the sadness overwhelming.   
Within a heartbeat of the Tears bursting from your eyes and the sob from your throat Mark has his arms wrapped around you, your cold shaking hands gripping tight to his shirt. 

“Hey, shhh it's okay, [Y/N], what happened? You wanna talk about it?” His deep voice was hushed as he whispered close to your ear. Your sobs slowed And you nod your head as he holds you. He backs up enough only to look into your eyes, worry encompassing his own. He sits down on the bed in front of you, his hand gripping yours.

You sniffle and start explaining the events that had transpired.

“He cheated on me” your voice broke as you finished your story with one heartbreaking sentence. The silence filling the room awkwardly, Mark unsure what to reply but visibly pissed.

“That mother fucker” Mark finally mumbles quietly, his hand gripping tight to yours. You couldn't look him, tears welling in your eyes again. You slip your hand from his grip, wiping your eyes. You were exhausted physically and emotionally.

“I'm so… “ you start to apologize for the trouble you caused when a chime accompanied by a slight vibration in your pocket catches your attention. You pull out the phone you hadn't realized you brought and check the caller ID. Mark's face hardens as he realizes who's calling.

“I can answer it for you if you want [Y/N]?” His voice was calm and collected but the look in his eye made it obvious how angry he truly was. With a sigh you shake your head.

“Could i get some privacy please?” It took Mark a minute to give in and completely leave but once he was gone you took a big calming breath and answered. 

Silence.

“Hello?” His voice rang through your ears setting off the tears again.

“What do you want?” You attempt to sound strong as unhurt but that familiar crack ruins the facade.

“Are you ok? Where are you?” there was real worry in his voice but you wouldn't give in to him this time.

“I'm fine, what do you want?” 

“Don't be like that [Y/N], I'm worried about you, come home and let's talk about it!”

“There's nothing to talk about, you decided i was not good enough for you so you slept with another woman, have fun with her by the way, maybe she'll pay your rent for you” you had kept yourself from breaking till the end. You hang up the phone before he can respond and start to sob again, throwing your phone angrily when he starts blowing you up with texts.

Mark sheepishly peaks in, giving you a goofy face.

“Can i come in? Is it safe?” He looks around as if some kind of Bomb was going to go off. your sniffly giggle serving as a yes.  
“You ok?” He sat in front of you again. It was the second time getting asked that in just a few minutes but his low tone hinted with worry broke any semblance of strength you had and the tears started flowing freely again.   
“Hey, if you want to talk, scream, rant,I'm here. I'm here for you” he got close, grabbing your hands to comfort you. You stared at him, tears streaming down your face quiet sobs making you take deep gaspy breaths. 

In that moment all forethought flew out the window.

“[Y/N]?” Mark's low deep voice sent tingles shooting through your body, your eyes locked on his lips. 

Before he could register your movements and before you could truly think about what you were doing you lean forward capturing his lips.


End file.
